If you use these terms your marketing is bad and you should feel bad.

22 Oct 2015

#1 Solutions

This is the laziest word in marketing. If you use ‘solutions’ in your tagline, you’ve either failed to think about what you do for longer than a few seconds or you can’t articulate it.

#2 Synergy

Along with big shoulder pads and piano ties, this word deserves to stay buried along with every other excess of the 80s.

#3 Bulletize Seriously?

This is not a goddamn word.

#4 Customer-centric

This is code for “Do things that look like you care about our customers but make sure it doesn’t effect the bottom line.”

#5 Paradigm shift

Go f%#k yourself.

[edit] Almost always used to simultaneously convey a disastrous misapprehension of the importance of your product to the average consumer, whilst massively overstating the impact of a minor, unremarkable and unoriginal change.

#6 Tribe

Your cynical money making scheme is as transparent as it is predatory. No one is fooled by your pretensions of fluffiness.

#7 Synchronistic

I can’t even....

#8 Push the envelope

This is not Top Gun. You are not Ice Man. That 0.2% uptick on your conversion rate does not in anyway equate to riding on a controlled explosion at three times the speed of sound.

Also, you’re a douchebag.

#9 Gamefication

Stop trying to make this happen. It’s not going to happen.

#10 Cradle to grave

“Hi, I still live in the 50’s. Get off my lawn.”

Kelsey Brookes

Ex opera singer turned messaging consultant, I position clients through evocative content, craft their user's journey in code and make sure all our technical ducks are in a row.

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